Monica Southerling

I grew up going to church most of my life. I became bulimic at about age 16. I had sex, smoked cigarettes, used marijuana and alcohol at age 16. I began rebelling against my parents. I was becoming very depressed and began having migraine headaches and severe back pain. I married at age 18 and was longing for children. We divorced after 7 years of marriage. I then grabbed for another man and went off the deep end. I was diagnosed as bi-polar. I was anorexic and losing weight quickly. I was constantly worrying about something (money, my kids, marriage, what other people thought, how I was going to get my next pain meds; I could go on and on). I was using drugs, alcohol, and prescription drugs on a regular, daily basis with very little to nothing for nourishment. I was taking laxatives daily and now weighed about 98 pounds. I am 5?7? ? not pretty! Then my live-in boyfriend asked me to marry him. He hadn't held a job for more than about 6-8 months at a time; he was on drugs and was a very angry person. But, I married him, anyway. I was terrified of being alone. Our marriage was horrible. I remember that about this time, I started seeking out God again, for I was cutting myself at times in my bedroom closet and wishing I would die. My body was so weak, and I hurt all of the time. I would read my Bible on the way to work each day, and I could not understand it at all! I was so frustrated! At this time, I noticed that my mom was becoming happier and thinner (she has lost 75 lbs.)! Also, my son, Kelly, age 9 at the time, was beginning to have behavioral problems in school. One night when I was putting Kelly to bed, he said, ?Momma, I have been thinking of killing myself lately?! I was totally broken down, and I knew that I had to figure something out and FAST! The next day I went to my mom and asked her about what was going on in her life, about the changes. She invited me to a Weigh Down class at her house. I went to the Weigh Down Advanced class, and I couldn't believe it! Everything made sense that Gwen Shamblin talked about. I heard her say that it was against God's will to worry, and that I needed to submit to my husband, and that I could eat food and not get fat! I also heard that depression is love of self. This really penetrated my heart because all this time I thought I hated myself. I immediately began to put these things into practice. I quit worrying, I started to eat little amounts of food, I quit using all drugs (cigarettes, prescription, and street drugs), I started serving my husband and caring about my kids and their salvation. It was incredible!!! My life completely turned around in a matter of weeks, even days. Since then, I have had so many answered prayers; I would need another ten pages or more to list them all. God has been so patient and merciful with me. My family is happy and peaceful every single day! Kelly is a teen-aged boy, and he is a true delight to be around (no more depression). He loves God! Jaime is 12 years old and is becoming a beautiful young lady! She loves God, too! My kids long to be with godly people all the time. They are obedient to all of their authorities. My marriage is healed and is wonderful! God has completely healed my body, and I have no more physical or mental/emotional pain at all! I have been rescued from slavery to sin, just as the Israelites were saved from slavery to Egypt. God has parted the Red Sea and let me go through on dry land. I focus each day on making God happy and dying to my own selfish desires so that I might have the chance of eternal life with Him. I will never go back to my old ways of life! I pray in Jesus? name that if you are reading this, you will know that God can and will rescue you from anything that may have its hold on you (depression, worry, drugs, cigarettes, sex, overeating, anorexia, bulimia, disobedience to authority, failing marriages, raising children, anything!) if you want to give over your life and live for Him. I now attend a fellowship that strives for purity each and every day of their lives. I have leaders who are actually living for God and not for themselves. They are there to help whenever we need them. Countless people have completely changed lives, including healed bodies and marriages, obedient/happy children, large amounts of weight loss, and so much PEACE and HAPPINESS!! Plus, I have never had a collection plate passed in front of me! (Don't get me wrong, I do tithe to God, but it is done through my relationship with Him and not through man). I love God with all my heart, strength, mind, and soul! And I love you, too! If you ever want to talk or need anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask me. I am humbled that God has allowed me to live another day. Who am I to receive such things?!